Radically Thankful

"All else you may ever ask for, during the rest of your entire life and beyond, will still be far less than what you already have." - The Universe

What an incredible thought.

A fresh seafood feast, hikes to a waterfall, a kayak with my sis, sitting cross legged on the lake shore with my family throwing rocks, crazy little nephew dance parties, and a Riders game with my dad. What could I be thankful for?

This week my family came out to see me and we stayed at a cabin at Fintry Park overlooking the lake, with the hills rising in the distance. It's been pretty easy to be thankful...and so then I got thinking of life in general. What am I grateful for in my everyday? A word of caution, I've had this building in me all week and I tend to be radically grateful, so it's a long one.

Recently, a good friend of mine has begun to email me daily with five things she is grateful for. Because she lives in the Prairies, I get this email each morning before I get out of bed. I wake up and as I turn off my alarm, I'm able to read her five things. It positions me in a purely positive light for the rest of my day. How can you start on a bad foot when you're reading someone else making the best of their day? So for this gift that's been given to me, thank you. I am grateful for your commitment and accountability to ensuring you treat life as a beautiful adventure, every single day.

So that brings me to the first thing that I am thankful for.

To the amazing women in my life whom I'm lucky enough to call friends / soul sisters / makamaka / partners in crime. From my friends in the prairies, to the east coast, to Central America and overseas....each woman I've encountered and whom has remained in my life, through wine nights and travel, skype dates and snail mail, you have all played a special role for me. Whether we were childhood friends or volleyball teammates, college friends or colleagues, you have all helped me to see joy in life that can only come from sisterhood connections. Bonding, tears, laughter and incredible support.

Moving to Kelowna has been a huge adventure in remembering all of my friends with such nostalgia. Often, as I'm going about making a life here, their jokes, their voices and their advice will spring into my head. As Kahlil says, "For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain." I am so grateful for all of the sisterhood I've received in my life and look forward to each and every moment that I get to reunite with all the different ladies in my life. And I'm incredibly grateful for the new ladies I've met here, that have embraced me as if we grew up together. What would I do without you guys?!

It goes without saying that sometimes I am slightly bizarre and over the top, yet these women accept me for who I am and support me - even if my steps are scattered and my pattern is random. What I know for sure is that each of you leading your own incredible lives empowers me to blaze my own trail. So for my soul sisters, I am thankful.

Now, for the male friends and brothers and dad and uncles in my life. What would life be without them? They're my football friends and accountants. My go to guys for chilled out life talks. My business friends. My Mario kart and Call of Duty partners. And of course my "Yeah, buts" (I always joke that when I have an overactive idea, my dad will simply say, "yeah Tamara, but you have to remember this", or "Yeah, buuuut maybe that would work better like this." He is my "yeah, but" and he keeps me grounded.)

Whenever I get tunnel vision and/or emotional and passionate about certain things, these rational-minded men help to bring me back to see both sides, minus the over exaggeration or emotions. They make life more simple and pleasant, and my life wouldn't be the same without them. So for the amazing men in my life, I am thankful.

I also have to say that I'm utterly grateful for the husbands / fiances / boyfriends of all of the women I hold dear. I keep seeing real life love matches happen over and over within my circle of friends and I couldn't be more grateful to these men that are making my friends and sisters happy. Who are good men and stand by them. And who put up with me when I invade their space for dinners and sleepovers without a complaint. So for these guys, I am thankful.

Now, to my job. Thank you for challenging me in many facets of my life. Thank you for allowing me to work from Kelowna, but travel home often to see my family and friends and work colleagues, whom I have become so close too. I'm lucky to have found such a great company to work for and for them to allow me to travel so much, which is a goal at the root of all I do. For my job, I am super thankful.

For my new and old passions. I'm utterly astounded that I have the means to do most of things I want to try in life. After having seen many countries where this freedom isn't there, I have to scream at the top of my lungs (metaphorically of course) that I feel SHOCKED, LIBERATED & AMAZED that I get to try so many things that I love (and some that I don't love). I have been fortunate to travel around the world and this year held many important trips for me - to Guelph, Chicago, Halifax, Arizona, Vancouver, Whistler and San Fran. I now have a garden, skills in juicing, fermenting and brewing, a place to cook, to golf, to swim, to snowboard, and a kayak to get out on the water in. I am in the midst of starting my next International Development course and I am planning to study holistic nutrition next year and that's something I can't ever show more thanks for. Not only that, but I've been able to meet and create an ongoing volunteer relationship with I.W.E.N., Hope for the Nations and the Kelowna Women's Shelter. This freedom and ability to pursue my passions shocks me to my core and I hope I never lose that. All I can strive to do is make each moment that I'm in this life meaningful for someone else. To use this incredible blessing for the greater good. My eye is still on the ultimate goal. And although I take a step off the path every now and again, I'm committed to creating a well rounded life and social enterprise that incorporates a healthy holistic lifestyle and gives back outrageously. It is in progress...

Now, for the Kelowna community. I moved here not knowing what it was like and having some people tell me on my trip out that it was full of biker gangs, rattlesnakes and WASPS (and not the flying kind. "The least cultural city in Canada" was actually a term someone said to me.) Well. I have found this to be the farthest thing from the truth. I have taken Spanish classes and volunteered for organizations that are doing amazing things around the world. I have seen local ambition for helping in organizations like the women's shelter and Inn from the Cold. There is tons of culture here and people care. Just like people everywhere care. You just have to seek it and you shall find big hearts that reside everywhere. And, for the hills to hike and the waters to kayak, for the vineyards, cheese farms and farmers markets, I'm thankful to be a part of this unique Kelowna community.

Ooo, things are getting really deep now. I am utterly thankful (I guess to myself?) for my commitment to cultivating relationships on soul levels. One thing I value most about meeting new people and having old friends in my life is that I try to nourish these relationships way beneath the surface. To be cliché and quote Oriah Mountain Dreamer, "I don't care what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for." This is the truth of the matter. I want to have conversations about how you're really feeling or about things that matter in your life or about what is going on in the world, and I find as I get older that I need that as a quality in friendship. Life is short, but can be an incredible adventure if we focus on meaningful interactions and passionate and positive people. So I guess I'm thankful that I dig deep and that others around me do too.

The challenges. Oh am I ever grateful for the challenges. I have had many, but nothing compared to what others have gone through. I remind myself daily of that. Yet for the challenging situations I have met - and the challenging people that I have in my life - I am thankful because everyday they are making me learn. As my mom read me this week from Leonard Cohen, "There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Yes, yes and YES! This (as many things) always brings me back to ubuntu. We are all human, we're all connected, and we're all in this together. So instead of seeing challenges as challenges, I like to think that everything is just a small detail of our own adventure. If we can see the forest and not just the trees, we will hopefully be able to sit back, take the lesson, and be grateful, even when the people and times of our lives get tough.

And, of course, my family. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY FAMILY. My mom, dad, sister, brothers, brother in law, nephews and all of my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. We are a clan of crazy, passionate, emotional and supportive people. As this week in Fintry reminded me, we are just like any other family. We argue and joke and cry and laugh. Because I'm the youngest, I get teased incessantly. But I don't have to doubt that they encourage and support me, even if not all of them quite understand me. I realize I'm a tricky person on a meandering path. But they see my light and remind me of it. They challenge me to think outside my own heart and head. And if it all falls apart, which it has before, they won't say "I told you so." Although the idea of "home" for me is ultimately fragmented, I do know that wherever they are is home. For my family, I'm utterly and overly thankful.

Finally, to the tripod. My mom, older sister and I email each other everyday and call them tripod emails. We group text and group skype. When we are together, there is sure to be laughing and sure to be crying. We are sure to dig right deep down into our souls and come out with an epiphany. These are the two women who know my every move from when I was an infant up to now. They know my heart and seem to know where I am going, even when I don't. I am over-the-moon-words-could-never-be-enough thankful for the silliness and support.

And duuuh, life just wouldn't be complete without the following: cheese, wine, chocolate, waterfalls, bookstores, delicious smelling books, fireplaces, cabins, wood-anything, incense, cozy lamps, cozy sweaters, the blues, jazz, folk, edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros, sam cooke, dance parties, garlic, lemons, gardens, movies, minions, board games, greeting cards, tall boots, cozy soups, plaid everything, harmonicas, bamboo, cozy blankets, fall, flowers, tin can phones, green juice, beet juice, and, of course, sauerkraut.

I hope this special day finds you all as cozy as possible and that the fall colours are as bright as ever. Thanksgiving, to me, is about being radically kind and over-the-top grateful for all the blessings in our lives. So love it up today people! Listen to music, dance, relax and be cozy! LOVE.

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Madiba. Mandela. Father. Husband. Leader. Grace. Hero. Spirit. Humanity. LOVE.

All words to describe the one and only Nelson Mandela.

In 2009, I travelled to South Africa to learn about a country that enchanted me. For whatever reason, I was fascinated with the history, the landscape, the culture, and to some extent, the history and the heroes behind the Apartheid struggle.

I read a lot to prepare for my trip - about the gold, the Dutch, the history, and about the greats: Oliver Tambo, Steve Biko, and of course, of Mandela.

Just before I was to leave, my buddy gifted me with the best present I could ask for - A Long Walk to Freedom - Mandela's autobiography.

I remember reading the book on the flight over, curious as to how I could feel in his home country. I can recall being so excited and highlighting all kinds of inspiring words and messages from his book, somewhere over the ocean.

He possessed diligence, patience, and major discipline, which was so opposite of everything I was up to that point. It inspired me. Messages like, "your spirit can be full even when your stomach is empty" prepared me for what I was embarking upon. In looking back at the tattered copy of that book that I still cherish, I flip open to sentences such as these:

• "It is what we make out of what we have, not what we are given, that separates one person from another," 
• "Courage was not the absence of fear, but triumph over it," 
• "Love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite,"
• "I would see a glimmer of humanity in one of the guards, perhaps for just a second, but it was enough to reassure me and keep me going. Man's goodnes is a flame that can be hidden, but never extinguished,"
  and
• "Perhaps it requires such depth of oppression to create such heights of character." 

I realize these words and ideas have stayed with me in silent whispers as I've lived out many other adventures since then in my life.

In Chapter 77, he talked of his home at 8115 Orland West in Soweto - the home he shared with Winnie Mandela before going to prison for 27 years. I told myself I would see Soweto if I could (later, I did).

Once I landed (in the Oliver Tambo airport in Johannesburg) and got to the conservation I was working on, I can recall eating breakfast looking out over the serene bankenveld, wondering what his veld had looked like. Wondering how he felt about life and love and all the issues you have when you are a 23 year old.

I can distinctly remember how over the top excited I was when I finished the book the very morning that I was to go on my Soweto / Apartheid tour.

Other than the fact that I got lost for three hours driving the highways of Jo'burg prior to finding the tour guide (scariest moment of my life to date), it was the most extraordinary day. We visited the Hector Pieterson Memorial Museum (from the 1976 uprising), we saw the South Africa Bill of Rights, we toured the Apartheid Museum, and we visited Mandela's home, #8115 Orlando West. I can still feel the pulse of Soweto in my veins.

I arrived home to the conservation so excited and glowing about that day that I was nicknamed "Mandela lover" by the other volunteers.

In my opinion, not the worst nickname one can receive.

This summer I have talked about getting a tattoo of the word UBUNTU. It is a word that means so much to me and it all I am who I am because of who we all are." It is the African concept of humanity. It means that I see others struggles in my struggles and I love others for all of their imperfections. That if I have one dollar and you have nothing, I share my fifty cents. It is more than a word; it is a spirit, a sense.

To me, Nelson Mandela is the symbol of humanity. He brought light to so much injustice. He suffered greatly, more than most of us could ever know, yet he always forgave. He was humble. He worked hard. He loved deeply. Isn't that what we're all here for?

He inspired an entire nation to freedom and showed us the true meaning of forgiveness. He inspired the world.

And in doing so, he inspired me.

Madiba, you are one of the true great inspirations of this modern world. And you will continue to teach me lessons and inspire me over the course of my entire life. As the world gathers at your bedside, we inspire you to live well or let go freely. You've left this world an entirely different - and better - place.

 -xo

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HopefulHumanity.ca

I've changed my blog address and given myself a bit more of a purpose. Not that purpose wasn't there, but maybe now I know what my idea is with where this blog came from and where it's going to continue going.

It's still not very focused, but at least I know certain topics I want it to encompass. Ish.

So. Here it is... A real live web address with a real live reason. See my newest page, click --> "Oh, Hopeful Humanity & Me"

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UBUNTU

First off, I apologize for not writing lately...may I just say the last 10 days have been a whirlwind! Now, I'm two sleeps away from the trip of my dreams and I can only feel anxious, excited, overwhelmed, helpless, faithful and a whack of other emotions.

I just want to say how much I appreciate each and everyone of you. I have a good friend and neighbour who is very blessed to have met many great people in his life. We spend a lot of time together since he lives beside me, so he meets and hears stories about many, if not all, of the people in my life. "Honestly," he turns to me the other night and says, "I have met so many wonderful people in my life, but I think you have me beat. I've never met a soul through you who isn't an incredible human being!"

I believe this wholeheartedly. This trip, if nothing else, has served it's purpose in that I have seen the truest colours of my closest family, co-workers (also family) and friends (also family!). At any given time, there is someone offering traveling tips, advice on how to pack, generous gifts or money to put towards the cause, dinners, lunches, glasses of wine or pints of beer. I feel in some way I have my own heavenly body of souls rallying around me to make sure that I make an impact, that I strive to be the best Tamara I can be, that I strive to make a difference in someones life the way they (you) are in mine. I can honestly say that I've never felt so lucky in my entire life.

Ubuntu is an African concept basically standing for kindness towards other human beings, for caring, sharing and being in harmony with all of creation. It promotes cooperation between individuals, cultures and nations, an ideal founded on the concept of unity, collective work and responsibility, and empowerment through discipline and common purpose. What a delightful time for me to come across this powerful, powerful mindset.

For the individual, it means something like, "I am who I am because of who we all are."

I know, that I am who I am, because of who you all are. Thank you to everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me to grow to be the person who I am right now, getting ready to leave Saturday morning on this adventure.

exes and ohs xoxo

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