You must be careful about the words you allow in your house

“Words are things, I am convinced. You must be careful, careful about the words you use. Or the
words you allow to be used in your house.

You must be careful
Careful about calling people out of their names

Using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives
And all that ignorance
Don’t do that

Someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words

I think they are things
I think they get on the walls, they get in your wallpaper, they get in your rugs
In your upholstery, in your clothes and finally…
Into you.”        - Maya Angelou

The other night I attended an International Women's Day event at the Okanagan Heritage Museum. There was a panel of five, who discussed a number of varying topics from indigenous rights to gender equality to marketing to men to colonization and the list goes on. They were an array of activists and rather smart cookies, and towards the end the panelist host asked, "Sometimes it's just all too much. The problems are too big. How can we even help?"

Welcome to my heart. This is how I feel every day. Sometimes I want to conquer the shit out of the world and other days I start to hyperventilate thinking of everything that is broken out there. It seems daunting and oh so overwhelming.

So, I was very interested to hear the replies. And they were oh so surprisingly helpful:

• Teach your children about human rights.
  Pass values down from generation to generation. They are the future. Teach them to stand up for their rights and others. Teach them to respect everyone regardless of age, gender, ethnicity. This is a no-brainer, but it's HUGE! It will be what changes the world. 

• Rejoice in the little celebrations
  Sometimes the movies or pop culture can make it seem like movements can take place in a day, week, month or year. Perhaps a couple years. But in reality, most movements are going to take a lifetime or more. Everyone is waiting for the BIG celebration - the day gay marriage is legal everywhere, the day that indigenous rights are fully restored, the day that gender equality is legitimate around the world. But the truth is, those things might not happen in our lifetime. It did not take a year to abolish slavery or to get the women's right to vote. But every step forward is advancing to that point and each moment counts. Therefore, we have to rejoice in the little things - the days when you hear children in your community caring for someone who has been bullied. The day you hear headlines like "Fredericton High School students hold dress code protest" - amazing. The day you realize that Jian Ghomeshi made the front news for weeks because he treated women wrongly and that finally it deserves a spotlight in the media because it's NOT okay. Let's celebrate these small moments, for they make the movement. 

• Organize an action of your own
  This is a great one and one I've never done solely on my own. I love taking a part in any kind of movement; however, and so last night I thought - well why couldn't myself and a couple of friends host that? We had an in depth conversation about this afterwards. Perhaps this is something that will come to fruition for me soon. 

• Self educate
  Big one. So important. There are so many times that people want to do something and they just don't know what. So start somewhere - read about it, go to lectures on it, attend webinars or seminars, volunteer with an organization close to the cause, and the list goes on. You can get involved by merely picking up a book (to start). It's easier than you think! 

• Speak up against injustice anytime you see it
  If you are in line at the grocery store and someone is being treated wrongly, say it. Say it out loud. So often we hear injustices and pass them with a blind glance. Everyone thinks, "someone else will say something." But what if it could be you? What if someone else was you? 

• Listen to every single story
  One of my favourite parts of last night was a woman who said, "When we connect and listen to each other's stories, we are already fighting the large forces of oppression." Listening is a radical force in itself. Really listen to other people's stories. Take a moment to figuratively walk around in their shoes. That in itself is so loving and so nourishing.

• Deconstruct harmful thoughts and beliefs in everyday life
  I think this is exactly what Maya Angelou is talking about up above. One of the panelists was a young man who works in marketing and studies marketing for men. He said often when a client is describing something to him they will simply say, "It looks too masculine." When he asks what masculine means to them, specifically, they start deconstructing it - it's too bold, too dark, too many harsh, straight lines, basically it's too foreboding. So he takes that opportunity to ask why that necessarily means masculine to them and starts a conversation that may shift their perspective. It really is a radical thought that you can start taking away negatives in any daily conversation. 

Ultimately, it comes down to one thing.

You must be careful about the words you allow in your house. And by changing your daily interactions, you can change the world. 

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Let's Celebrate Womanhood

Well my lovely friend, it's been awhile.

The third last time I wrote was (you guessed it) International Women's Day last year.

That's okay, I have been busy. Moving out to the woods and switching jobs and MCing weddings and sitting in meditation retreats and hiking the forest of my backyard and learning about International Development and social change and travelling to Vegas, Chicago, San Francisco, Halifax, Arizona, going home and spending time with my nephews and niece and well, just living.

But I'm back. For a very simple, yet significant, reason. It's time to celebrate women again.

Tonight I spent a couple of hours learning from a variety of women (and men) with different backgrounds, ethnicities and academic views, about what International Women's Day means to them. I then sat at a cozy bar drinking red wine with two amazing women friends of my own, debating the life and times of being a woman and what International Women's Day should really be about (in our minds).

There are sooooo many different trains of thoughts about what this day could mean (if, might I mention, you have ever even heard of this day. Sad to hear that so many people apparently have not. It's March 8th by the way, and has been around since 1908.) To some people, it could be a day to dissect and stand up for indigenous rights, LGBT rights, men's rights, civil rights, or gender equality. It could mean debating the difference between men and women and why don't men have a day? It could mean dissecting the various segments of being a woman - transgender, gay, bisexual or feminist.

But, after much reflection, I strongly believe it all boils down to this:

International Women's Day is a day of celebration for all of us.

It's a day of solidarity.

It's a day to rejoice on the advancements we have made over time, as a full-on-doesn't-matter-what-race-culture-age you are. It's a day to rejoice about the general species of: women.

A quick google search will show you about twenty sites that have these sad stats about being a woman:

• Women perform 66% of the world’s work and produce 50% of the food. However, they earn just 10% of incomes and own 1% of the property globally
• Out of 197 countries, only 22 of them have women currently serving as heads of state — just 11.2%
• In business, the gender gap remains wide. In the United States, for example, only 21 of the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are women.
• In nearly every country, women work longer hours than men and are paid less*

But what I'm looking for are these kinds of facts:

• There are currently 17 countries with women as heads of government, heads of state, or both; this, according to the UN, is more than double what it was in 2005 (yes, this site said 17 instead of 22. It was written earlier than the one above, so look, we have five more in that stat above! More progress!)
• Generally considered to be the world’s first novel, The Tale of Genji was written in Japan around AD 1000 by Murasaki Shikibu—a woman.
• The two highest IQs ever recorded on a standard test both belong to women.
• Mary Queen of Scots has been attributed to creating the world’s first golf course.**

(Yes, the above seem like random facts, but I googled over and over "positive facts about women's rights" and "positive International Women's Day facts" and yet these were, quite literally, the best I could find. Hmmm. Next blog - more celebratory women websites).

In all seriousness, this week I have thought long and hard about what it means to be a woman. In my short life I have traveled to nations that are the poorest in the world. I've sat with women in oppressed regions: in the slums of India, in the dust and dirt of El Salvador. I have seen them laugh. I have seen them rise up against domestic violence. I have seen them plant food and cook feasts, nurture their children, and show more kindness than I knew possible. I have seen ingenuity. And brilliance. And passion. 

I have also sat in elite boardrooms with some of the most intelligent women to walk the planet here in Canada. I have seen those who have the most incredible outward (and inward) beauty - the best clothes that money can buy, the best make-up, the best hair, the nicest houses, the whole damn white picket fence. 

I have loved and admired both sets of women alike. And I've seen so many similarities. I have seen hard work and determination and grit in each and every single one of them. I have seen wisdom, grace, and nurturing spirits. It doesn't matter which set it's coming from, there is something seriously special about being a female. 

So what does being a woman mean, universally? 

It means loving with all of your heart. Taking risks and being vulnerable and opening yourself up to heartache on the behalf of others. It means spending long nights cooking and cleaning for people so that they will be pleased, happy, and nourished. It means not worrying about getting credit for the love that you bestow constantly - the light that you shine, because seeing others happiness is enough. It means loving from afar and letting go and holding tightly and not wanting to let go. Being a woman means being a life force. Literally. It means passing on the eternal breath of nature. It brings about motherhood, which I have not stepped into yet, but experienced through so many of my very closest loved ones and my own (possibly the best woman alive) my mother. This, to me, is everything in life. This has given every single one of you reading this LIFE. That is no small feat. That is no mistake by nature. That is something that needs celebrating.  

Being a woman means creating connections with girlfriends that only sisterhood can understood. It means that when a friend comes over after a heartbreak, you get the chocolate cake ready. It means when a friend is really going through tough times, you get the spare room ready, no questions asked. It might mean planting a garden, doing eight loads of laundry, settling thirty disputes, changing five diapers, cooking dinner for the family, and planning the next grocery list - all in eight hours. It might mean traveling all day for work and listening to eight co-workers concerns and making them feel special and forgetting to do your own yoga practice because other people need you and calling your girlfriend at 11 p.m. when you're meant to go to bed because she needs to know what to wear tomorrow. 

Being a woman means that you truly care.

It means being a mother, a sister, an aunt, a grandma. 

It's something that you cannot describe in so many words.

It means so much. 

My biggest wish is that everyone, on Sunday, March 8th, will spend the day just rejoicing in the womanhood around the world. Thank the woman next to you, or the one that gave life to you. Let's forget all the other segments it can break into and for one day - let's just celebrate womanhood.

* Source: http://www.theglobalist.com/10-facts-international-womens-day/
** Source: http://www.levo.com/articles/news/facts-about-women-international-womens-day

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Let us tell a story

[wild-craft-ing] v.
the harvesting of herb, root, flower or inspiration from the wilds

[stew·ard·ship] noun
the activity or job of protecting and being responsible for something
an ethic that embodies the responsible planning and management of resources

I spent the last three days at the Wildcraft Forest just outside of Lumby. I connected with  Don (the lovely man who is a steward of the land there) last year through finding his website. We were meant to meet earlier and things didn't turn out. So I jumped at the chance to attend the second ever Wildcrafting Basics course, that leads one to the Wildcrafting Bioregional Studies Certificate (WBSC). Last week we were assigned homework to do a report on three plants - two that are native to the interior of BC and one that is "invasive"(what a terrible term). We were also tasked with looking back, like faaaar back into our ancestry, to 5000 years ago. To imagine the life we would have lead back then. Due to how busy I've been lately, I was a tad stressed. I guess I am a bit of a perfectionist in some ways and wanted to be fully prepared.

Nothing could have prepared me for the weekend (and yet everything in my life up to this point has been preparing me).  More on that later.

So from the beginning. My friend Lisa and I packed up her camper and took off, with no expectations of who or what this course would be like. We are both drawn to the woods, to sustainability, to philosophical conversations about what life really is about. It just felt right. We knew all of the above would happen. We arrived and immediately met two lovely women around our age, of the same like-minded ideas. It was an instant bond. As other class members arrived, it was apparent that we were indeed a clan of sorts. There was instantaneous connection and an awe and wonder for the Earth and all that her majesty has to offer us (and more, about what we can offer back).

After delightful conversation (where I actually exclaimed, "I love you," to Pam - one of the attendees there. Too soon? Haha) we dove right into spiral harvesting (over foraging) of wild strawberries and wild mint. Don was harvesting the leaves these for his wild teas, so we got to eat a few of the delightful miniature berries. Delicious. Until the roosters on the property came along and helped themselves to the whole field. Fair enough, these roosters (called Lord Voldemort and Panama) well they need to eat too. We also met Wizard, the spiritual dog and faithful companion of Don's. He became a constant for the weekend, as wherever we went, Wizard would follow.

We then learned about the ancient art of dowsing and were able to create our own dowsing sticks. Dowsing is a type of divination used to locate ground water, buried metals or ores, gemstones, oil, gravesites, and many other objects and materials, without the use of scientific apparatus. It is an ancient art and incredibly interesting. It lends itself to the idea of an ancient muscle memory. I won't spend too much time on this as it's something more to be experienced than explained. Following our first foray into the woods, we came back to camp and used Don's pendulum to ask a few questions. We got some interesting answers later that evening around the fire...

Hwy 6 -  if you ever get a chance,
drop in to this magical place

Spiral harvesting. No clear cutting / foraging.

Home for three days:
Forest.
Fire pit.
Medicine wheel.
Teepee being wrapped in wood.
All the essentials.

The wise eyes of Wizard.

Learning the ancient art of dowsing.

Later Friday night, we had a smudging ceremony, and had rich conversation about the reasons why we came around the medicine wheel and the Four Directions. This consisted sitting around a stone monument that's a symbol in North American indigenous culture. Where you sat mattered, as the Four Directions have symbolism in each. There is the deer to the west (gentle spirit), the coyote to the south (trickster), the bear to the west (leader) and the eagle/owl to the north (visionary). Without knowing, I sat between the bear and the eagle. During this ceremony, I had a major moment. I was sharing my story of what led me to that exact moment and as I gazed out over the Sleeping Coyote mountain in front of me, with the sun setting, and heart enriching conversation, something whispered to me that my leap of faith that had me pack up my belongings into a car and move to Kelowna without knowing a soul, was right. That my steps to move towards an agricultural based company was right. That my friendship with Lisa wasn't a coincidence. These were all steps on my journey to this place.

I struggled finding the words to describe this moment of the weekend, so I found this description of a medicine wheel and thought it too perfect to not include:

"a Medicine Wheel can best be described as a mirror within, which everything about the human condition is reflected back. It requires courage to look into the mirror and really see what is being reflected back about an individual's life. It helps us with our creative "Vision", to see exactly where we are in life and which areas we need to work on and develop in order to realize our full potential. It is a tool to be used for the upliftment and betterment of humankind, healing and connecting to the Infinite."

After all of this activity, we still had two days left. So we built a beautiful fire and shared further stories about lucid dreaming, pioneering ideas, about what life really means, about the broken system we find ourselves in. I fell asleep so utterly content and slept for eight hours for the first time in a long time.

Saturday started with enriching conversation based around terroir. Terroir can be loosely translated as "a sense of place," which is embodied in certain characteristic qualities, the sum of the effects that the local environment has had on the production of the product. This includes the soil, the geography, the climate, and best of all, the story of a product. Imagine the wine in France, where terroir comes from. It tells the story of the place where the grapes are grown and why that wine is so special. This lent itself to being a more business-minded conversation about becoming an artisan, or a product designer, and about how to contribute to the economy and tell the story of your products to the marketplace. This isn't all "hippie" stuff people! It's business that comes with a high level of spiritual ethics.

From there it seemed natural that we would jump to the career side of wildcrafting. The categories are loosely divided into six paths:

• Designers (product design, community planning)
• Healers (making medicine, plant knowledge, ancient arts, healing memory)
• Alchemists (transformation of dyes, fibers, medicines and plants into food)
• Guides (communicators, counselors, dreamwork, pilgrimage)
• Teachers (learning, sharing, mentoring, media, broadcasting, storytelling, communicating)
• Navigators (leadership, biosemiotics, negotiating, advocacy)

The vision that Don holds for wildcrafting is truly original and incredible. One of my favourite chats we had from the weekend was this:

"Wildcrafting is what the environmental movement should have become. It's not about going to lawmakers and petitioning them to make change for us. It's about making change in ourselves and the environment we are living in. If we each take that responsibility unto ourselves, we can create a movement bigger than anything that a law or government in it's current state could do."

It's about our obligation as dwellers on the earth, to take care of what we have for future generations. And, as you can see above, there is a way for this to be done, and to make a living from it. It's a new kind of economy, ruled by the nurturing Gaia. And he believes this will be a movement. That every health food store, or grocery store for that matter will need a wildcrafting practitioner. Every restaurant and hospital. It really will become the wave that drives the human race forward in a way that the earth can support.

We spoke this weekend about true permaculture and bioregionalism. About creating a design system which aims to create sustainable human habitats by following nature's patterns. And about creating ecological, political and cultural systems around naturally defined areas. What an inspirational time to be living here in the interior of BC.

The piece that came out of Saturday's morning conversations for me was the Aha moment of why I've spent the past ten years in marketing and communications. I'm here to tell a story. The world is a web of stories. The more we can find people to tell the right ones, the better off we will be.

Then we were off on a field trip to the Shuswap River.

The beautiful Shuswap River

Identifying horsetail & wild gooseberries

Known to keep away evil spirits...

Ferns! With markings underneath! Is it Bracken or Lady Fern?  

The oh so glorious and important forest underlayer

Learning about culturally modified trees. 

The Queen's Cup:
 - used as an eye medicine and to stop bleeding
 - berries used for a blue dye 

The very versatile Thimbleberry
 - berries eaten fresh with other wild berries
- young shoots can be peeled and eaten raw or cooked
- large, maple like leaves to be used as temporary containers
- the leaves can even be used as toilet tissue for hikers

Can't go into a forest and not sit
on a log & have a quick ponder can you? 

And once the enlightening field trip (where we also discovered beauts like the cottonwood trees, oregon grape, birch trees, streambank buttercup and wild ginger) it was time to head back to camp and collect items for dinner.

Gathering an oh so beautiful salad 

Puffball mushrooms! This was about the size of a soccer ball
and felt like a kneaded piece of dough.

Finding dinner in the sunshine.

And coming across a meadow of oxeye daisies.
Let's add those petals to our salad...

Pam & Jaime creating a delicious paste for the salmon.

Prepping for the burdock root pancakes

The aromatic woods. Nowhere I'd rather be.

Burdock root broth with chives & mint 

Campfire cooking...

and ever present stimulating conversation

And our final product, with sun tea
(and black currant wine for the girls) 

With full bellies and happy bodies, we then did our plant presentations over a crackling fire. With nine of us, it was amazing that there was not one overlapping plant that we chose. It was truly incredible learning about the characteristics, spiritual and medicinal values of over twenty different wild plants. To name a few, we had wild mint, skunk cabbage (a light shining in the swampy dark), mugwort (a great plant for women to get to know), wild honeysuckle, heart-leafed arnica and tall bluebells (all related to my favourite thing - LOVE), pine pollen (a testosterone booster for men), giant hogweed (instilling fear in parents everywhere), the tiger lily (to add a little pepper), and Japanese nutweed (the plant that doesn't seem to have much wrong with it - other than minor architectural issues - this guy will grow through walls...but that is so healing that it's perhaps natures way of forcing us to listen). There was great mullein plant (an aphrodisiac), the red columbine (a good luck charm), and skull cap (beware of giddiness and happiness).  What. an. education.

After a rich after-fire discussion of boycotts, the book of Enoch and our raison d'être, we retired to bed for another restful slumber.

Upon rising, I realized it was the last day. This created a stir of emotions. I was overwhelmed with information and needed to digest it. I was faced with aha moments of my own skills and talents that I need to share with the world. I was terribly sad to leave the no-cell-service-oh-so-peaceful woods and the clan that we created. But I was ready to face our last day, to soak in what I could, and to come home with a sense of purpose.

And then Robert MacDonald came to speak to us. Robert has a rich past, full of marketing (for great things like the Grateful Dead and household items like the decorated Kleenex box), publishing (worked for Random House - hello hero!) and consulting, all the while keeping his spiritual values and morals in tact. It quickly became clear to me that I am meant to study further under this man whose background has slight similarities to my own that I'm starting. However, the one story that Robert told struck me as something that needed to be told, and it is this:

When he was working for a typography company, he learned the story of the building he worked in. It was built by construction workers that were far ahead of their time. It was a huge, intricate building, built in stone and other sturdy materials. However, there were certain parts that needed the flexibility of wood. So the builders knew that this would have to be replaced about 300 years from then and built the wood in such a way that it would be easy to extract and replace. Then they took things a step further. They planted an oak tree forest surrounding the building, that would grow for 300 years, mature, and then the wood that was needed was right on site.

Do you see the sustainability in that?

Do you realize that that's how we need to be thinking - 300 years out?

We all want to leave a legacy. What can we do, that will be a story, that will inspire future generations, and that will leave them better off?

That's what we need to be thinking about.

I was captivated by his message and am starting to understand that I have to shift my thinking to this way. Not only this, but it's storytelling that will continue that message along. It's the story of Ogopogo (to potentially protect boaters from methane eruptions?) It's the story that we have heard from our parents about who we are and where we come from that shapes our lives.

We have to think about our story. Every generation and culture needs a story. And we have a moral and ethical obligation to set it up right now for 300 years from now.

Sunday afternoon we talked to a man named Matthew Stephens who studied permaculture from the grandfather of permaculture himself: Bill Mollison. Matt is now designing a food forest and community garden in inner city Chicago. He is a guerrilla gardener that is changing lives. These kinds of visionaries are who we need to step forward and blaze the path. We also got into a very animated conversation about the naysayers. Those who may need to see certification in this path in order for it to be credible. Or those that simply look at us and say that we're "hippies." But I ask you this:

And what if my buisness background allows me to understand the economy - and not to simply "check out" of society like many hippies are accused of doing. I think there's a true path that we can follow that takes that which we need to do and makes it accessible to all, still allowing lives of comfort (maybe not luxury like there is now, but comfort nonetheless) and rich conversations and rich spirits and delicious foods? It creates a world of community and rights some of the wrongs that are so clearly, blatantly happening right now around the world.

Deep deep down, somewhere, you must hear the whisper.

And there's tangible things that you can do. Grow your own food or support those that grow yours. Create community with multi-levels of skills that can build an intertwined group that compliments each other rather than berate each other. Choose a piece of land and become a true steward of it. Read about the resources we have at our fingertips. Learn. Act.

Our final assignment of the course was an ancestral mapping. To understand where our blood lines originated. And then to tell a story of what we could imagine of that life. I found this extremely enriching and was surprised to find so many synchronicities of what my life could have been like then and my life now. I found traits of what I believe to have been my indigenous diet that I am partial too today (German diet of dough, breads, cheeses, butters). I found ancient thought patterns like ahimsa (non violence to all living things) that popped up in my studies. I told a story of who I believe I was and it came out to sound exactly like the life that I am currently living.

I believe everyone should try digging back into their ancestry. Uncover the stories. Taste the foods. Who knows what you may find out about yourself.

It's funny, when you start to study a forest. You see how all of the layers and species of it work together to ensure a high-functioning ecosystem. Humans can really become connected like that and mimic nature.

Ultimately, I believe it all comes down to this:

"Do you believe in the good of many over the good of one, or the good of one over the good of many?"

If it's the former, I think we will be okay. If we include the earth as one of the many, we will learn to live within it. And often, if you look at communities, women are the community oriented nurturers. A new need for feminine leadership is happening. Women can blaze this path and right things, if we support each other and let the story of family and community be told through them. This is a very special time in history.

Let's make sure that our time here tells a story from our intertwined hearts.

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Passionately Defying the Impermanence

We all want to know that what we do in this life remains beyond our short time here. We want to know that the love that we have can live on. Or that the work we do will be seen and appreciated by future generations.

Books, music, the arts, children - they all inspire us because they result in something that keeps. on. going. We all want to keep on going.

However, having read my share of Buddhist ideologies, I also see the importance of unattachment. Of releasing expectations, control, and our death-like grip on outcomes. I am an everyday practitioner of letting go.

You can see why I often struggle with which side to give in to.

In this short video Jason Silva makes us feel okay about our passion to ache for life and all of the beauty we want to hold on to. I am a big believer in epiphanies and in being passionate about anything and everything, even if it means that we build giant dreams and crash into giant obstacles. Life, to me, is about putting everything into it, and riding the waves of hurt, laughter, tears, and, most importantly, LOVE that may come from it.

Jason, you do this properly. My great appreciation to you.

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Wherever you go, there you are

Today marks my one year anniversary of moving to Kelowna.
I'm one week away from my 28th birthday.
And I'm here, in more ways than one.
Let me explain...

I look back on journals and blog posts from last year before I moved and I laugh. I was so excited-scared-nervous-anxious-exhilarated. I decided to move because the choice to stay was irrelevant. I could work from anywhere. I had no bonded ties holding me down. I grew up with many camping trips to the mountains and I wanted to reclaim the coziness and the awe-struck fantasy that I still had in my head about living near such majestic nature. I wanted organic farm markets that were on every roadside. I wanted to canoe on a lake or river close to my home. I wanted options for camping and hiking in my backyard. I had never been to Kelowna in my adult life, but I wanted IT. I have such a soft spot for the prairies and I want to make it clear that I know you can get many of the above there. It's just that for now, I wanted to try something new and the idea of BC tempted and drew me in.

I remember sitting in the kitchen at Aerins just before it was time to leave, with her and Ashley, thinking, "Will I have this sisterhood if I move away? Do I even know what I'm doing? I don't know anyone there. Maybe I'll hate it." I am pretty sure I cried. I knew I would miss my girls. I knew how painful it would be to leave my family. But I also knew that if I stayed somewhere for comfort alone, my spirit would suffer. So I took the leap and moved. Actually, I loaded up my car with only my cat and few belongings, and I drove the 26 hours from Winnipeg to Kelowna without ever having seen my room to rent or having met a soul that lived there.

This past year hasn't always been easy, that is for sure. I heard somewhere it takes about a year and a half before a place feels like home. But for whatever reason, this city and the country life just outside of it has swept me into it like a rushing river.

Fall and winter were undeniably cozy in front of a huge stone fireplace. I made friends, I re-connected with cooking and being alone with myself, and I deepened relationships with friends & family from afar. I made some mistakes and experienced broken hearts. But spring came early. I bought a kayak and started a garden...and somewhere in it all, I realized that when we make decisions to take a new job, or study something new, or move somewhere different, we aren't looking to find ourselves. We are trying to create ourselves. In each and every moment, we get to decide what the next will look like. Decisions such as having a bit more fun with your kids and worrying a bit less about the mess, or planting a garden, or applying for courses you always wanted to take - those are character building decisions. They shape who you can become. And you can continue to make new and different ones everyday.

I will also add that I probably could not have done this without the flexibility of the job I have, or the fact that I go home for work so often that I've seen my family and friends consistently throughout this whole adventure. So grateful.

So today I've lived here for exactly one year. Last night I went camping with two of my best friends here, two kids and two dogs. I left to go there after them so they had to leave me posters on the trees to guide my way. It was the best scavenger hunt I've ever been on because it led me through the woods to a lake, a fire, a campfire dinner, no cell service, and the moon - and it was thirty minutes from my house.

 We talked and ate delicious food, held hands around the fire and did yoga in the moonlight. We had some drinks and laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. We even thought we were going to get eaten by a bear at one point. As the sun set and there was a breathtaking pink sky, we talked about how quickly time passes. How vital it is to just soak it all up every moment. People always say that, but how many times do you actually sit back and really imprint a moment on your heart?

This morning, after coffee and kombucha, I embarked on a solo kayak journey to my favourite spot on Kalamalka. Once again, no cell service, just the sun and the waves and me. I brought four mind expanding, heart challenging books. I docked the kayak and napped and ate grapes and cheese fresh from a farm market on the road side. And then I swam in the crystal clear water. I made some new decisions for my next steps --- goals for my 28th year. On the way home, I stopped at my community garden, picked chard and cucumbers and tended to my other plants. A few people stopped me along the way to ask about my kayak or how much it was to get into the garden. I felt so at ease, so at home.

And tonight I hung out with a friend who I respect a ton and who has taught me a lot in the past year. As we sat out on my deck, overlooking the lights of Kelowna, I could feel myself back to last year - having just moved in - stepping out onto the deck and seeing the same sights, hoping to create a life here full of laughter and hope and growth. It's funny how these two moments have brought so much of that in between.

Let's just say that I'm physically exhausted and mentally and spiritually on fire.

I still don't know if it's the "right" move, per se. I'll never really know. But after a full year's reflection, I'm content. I'm right where I should be, for now. And I hope you know that you are too.

For wherever you go, there you are.

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Reminder: Life is a Mirror

I was recently in a class-like setting for a program I'm taking. There are ten people in this program and we all come from different walks of life. We are asked to face things about ourselves that may be tough to look at. Mistakes we have made. Patterns of behaviour that we have had. We talk about goals and decision making and getting to a higher place within ourselves.

So on our first day I walk in and see many young people there, a couple older ones, and one or two my age. There's guys and girls, many ethnicities, and a facilitator who is semi-retired and has a wonderful soul. He's now near and dear to my heart.

As we begin the discussions, we share details of our lives that may not be oh so comfortable to share. And, as always, there is one person in the group that tends to stick out. He's not sure why he is there. He explains that he's never made any mistakes and takes no accountability whatsoever for past actions. Instead, he wants to argue and ridicule, certain that he doesn't belong.

It makes the group uncomfortable and what could be a really strong, positive discussion is slightly off-put by the attitude of just one.

So I realize at this point that I have a few options. I came to the class to learn. I came to enhance my life, take a look at decisions I've made and take greater steps towards my own goals. I don't want it to be clouded by this guy - how could he ruin it with his silly jokes!

Then I think, I feel kind of sorry for him. He seems to really not understand the point of the group or the idea that if things happen to us, we can either be victims or we can be heroes that learn from mistakes and thrive triumphantly in the face of adversity.

Part of me wants to reach out to our teacher who is dealing with his bad attitude in a light-hearted manner. I want to hug him and say thanks for dealing with this jackass.

But finally, I settled on this. What is inside of that guy that is inside of me? Why do I want his behaviour to change? We cannot change others, but we can change what is in us that reflects and projects onto others.

So I begin to realize that maybe I'm a bit hostile to past mistakes. Although I've come to this class with an open heart, a thirst for growth, and a giant feeling of accountability, have I really dealt with some of the mistakes I might have made in my short life? And he's a very intelligent man who is proud of the good things he has accomplished, in a way I admire. Have I also really given myself credit for the good things I have done as well or do I downplay them instead?

When I began to look at him as part of me, my feelings toward the hostile situation changed. It's almost like I took the sensitivity out of the equation. Any frustrations or anger or embarrassment I had dissipated.  Instead I felt free.

Free to examine my own issues rather than focus on what's going on outside of me. "For whatever is going on outside of you, is going on inside of you." (I don't know who said that, but it felt quoteworthy.)

The people we meet are mirrors, reflecting back what's happening internally. I don't believe that "everything happens for a reason" as much as I believe that we see how things happen from how we are. Our own perspective leads us to interpret events in meaningful ways. It feels like it happened for a reason if you can make one for it. That's learning. That's growth. And that's wonderful.

It's deep, I know. But it makes a world of difference when dealing with certain situations in life. I've dated men who I have felt are immature or sensitive or too this or too that. And all of a sudden, this shift occurs when you realize that those are traits that are reflecting back from you. It's what you see in yourself that you see in others. I've also dated men or had girlfriends that I'm wowed by: that are intelligent and witty and confident. That is also strong traits of myself coming out in the people I have and love in my life.

All of a sudden, I realize that if I can strive to literally be the best me (so cliche) then I will see all of that best in others. And when I don't see the best in someone, I can take note that those traits are within me as well. Rather than being angry with them, I can fuel my personal journey.

It brings me back to the concept of ubuntu (my favourite African concept again): "I am who I am because of who we all are."

Reminder: life is a mirror. See the best traits in others and also see the worst. You can see what is going on inside of you in them. And remember that you can only change you. But in doing so - others may just take a note and change too.

And be kind. Always be kind.

So much love!

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Madiba. Mandela. Father. Husband. Leader. Grace. Hero. Spirit. Humanity. LOVE.

All words to describe the one and only Nelson Mandela.

In 2009, I travelled to South Africa to learn about a country that enchanted me. For whatever reason, I was fascinated with the history, the landscape, the culture, and to some extent, the history and the heroes behind the Apartheid struggle.

I read a lot to prepare for my trip - about the gold, the Dutch, the history, and about the greats: Oliver Tambo, Steve Biko, and of course, of Mandela.

Just before I was to leave, my buddy gifted me with the best present I could ask for - A Long Walk to Freedom - Mandela's autobiography.

I remember reading the book on the flight over, curious as to how I could feel in his home country. I can recall being so excited and highlighting all kinds of inspiring words and messages from his book, somewhere over the ocean.

He possessed diligence, patience, and major discipline, which was so opposite of everything I was up to that point. It inspired me. Messages like, "your spirit can be full even when your stomach is empty" prepared me for what I was embarking upon. In looking back at the tattered copy of that book that I still cherish, I flip open to sentences such as these:

• "It is what we make out of what we have, not what we are given, that separates one person from another," 
• "Courage was not the absence of fear, but triumph over it," 
• "Love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite,"
• "I would see a glimmer of humanity in one of the guards, perhaps for just a second, but it was enough to reassure me and keep me going. Man's goodnes is a flame that can be hidden, but never extinguished,"
  and
• "Perhaps it requires such depth of oppression to create such heights of character." 

I realize these words and ideas have stayed with me in silent whispers as I've lived out many other adventures since then in my life.

In Chapter 77, he talked of his home at 8115 Orland West in Soweto - the home he shared with Winnie Mandela before going to prison for 27 years. I told myself I would see Soweto if I could (later, I did).

Once I landed (in the Oliver Tambo airport in Johannesburg) and got to the conservation I was working on, I can recall eating breakfast looking out over the serene bankenveld, wondering what his veld had looked like. Wondering how he felt about life and love and all the issues you have when you are a 23 year old.

I can distinctly remember how over the top excited I was when I finished the book the very morning that I was to go on my Soweto / Apartheid tour.

Other than the fact that I got lost for three hours driving the highways of Jo'burg prior to finding the tour guide (scariest moment of my life to date), it was the most extraordinary day. We visited the Hector Pieterson Memorial Museum (from the 1976 uprising), we saw the South Africa Bill of Rights, we toured the Apartheid Museum, and we visited Mandela's home, #8115 Orlando West. I can still feel the pulse of Soweto in my veins.

I arrived home to the conservation so excited and glowing about that day that I was nicknamed "Mandela lover" by the other volunteers.

In my opinion, not the worst nickname one can receive.

This summer I have talked about getting a tattoo of the word UBUNTU. It is a word that means so much to me and it all I am who I am because of who we all are." It is the African concept of humanity. It means that I see others struggles in my struggles and I love others for all of their imperfections. That if I have one dollar and you have nothing, I share my fifty cents. It is more than a word; it is a spirit, a sense.

To me, Nelson Mandela is the symbol of humanity. He brought light to so much injustice. He suffered greatly, more than most of us could ever know, yet he always forgave. He was humble. He worked hard. He loved deeply. Isn't that what we're all here for?

He inspired an entire nation to freedom and showed us the true meaning of forgiveness. He inspired the world.

And in doing so, he inspired me.

Madiba, you are one of the true great inspirations of this modern world. And you will continue to teach me lessons and inspire me over the course of my entire life. As the world gathers at your bedside, we inspire you to live well or let go freely. You've left this world an entirely different - and better - place.

 -xo

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Otra Fe March Report: Organic Fertilisers, Soil Care, Chicken & Egg

I continue to be blown away by the efforts of Otra Fe in El Salvador. Our own agronomist, Otoniel, writes these amazing monthly reports that summarize the activities going on down there and sends pictures where possible. Here is March's report below. 

Remember this is a small group of campecino's who decided to come together as a co-operative and create opportunities for themselves where none really existed. This is a story of perseverance. 

Report of activities carried out in Atehuecia Community: 

5th of March:
On this date the Atehuecia farming group met to discuss preparing the fields for the new period of agricultural production that will begin in the month of April with the goal being that the fields would be ready whenever the first rains come, perhaps very early in May. The conversation included the theme of tilling and caring for the land and its significance for today and for the future. Pastor Felix Lino accompanied the meeting.

12th of March:
This meeting took place in Chancuyo with the purpose of organising ourselves so that other persons would not burn their fields, and also to explain to other farmers the damage that is done to the earth when the vegetation left in the soil after the harvest is burned.

22nd of March:
Brother Felix Lino gathered the farming group to continue the work of consciousness raising with the families concerning the use of organic fertilisers making use of local resources such as the organic residuals obtained from their own households. The experience of some members of the group was also shared. These had  produced their own fertilisers using the residue from the harvest of the beans, shucked corn cobs, chaff from rice, and manure.

2nd of March:
We organised a get together to make organic fertilisers, using cobs, manure, ashes from the wood-burning stoves, and the remains from the bean harvest. 10 farmers participated in the event. The experience was later reproduced for 5 more families.

16th of March:
On this date we had the great experience of visiting 4 families in the homes and on their fields in order to see and know how the family fertiliser production is making out.

Report of activities carried out in Monte El Padre Community, and with the farmers in San Diego hacienda.

Generally speaking, the activities in both places have been oriented toward attending to the needs of the farmers (men and women) in their household tasks of looking after their chicken and egg project, principally helping with the reproduction of chicks. We also have been involved in the activities surrounding the search for land to cultivate this year. Preparation of land is already underway. There follows the detail of the principal activities.

14th of March:
Monte El Padre community meeting where we reflected on the condition of the land on the new plots that each of the families have rented or leased for the harvest in 2013, and, in order to preserve the small amount of debris that has been left on the ground, we are mounting a local campaign to explain to the neighboring farmers the damage it does to the ground when it is burned on the field.

20th of March:
In the hacienda San Diego a visit was made to promote soil care when performing the initial tasks of land preparation, mainly recommending that they prevent their land from being damaged by fire caused by other neighboring farmers.

Brother Juan Ramón constantly is talking to the farmers about "the soil that produces life." It is important to emphasise the constant participation of men and women in the meetings and activities that have been conducted.

8th of March
We performed follow-up visits to poultry houses in order to check the overall health of the chickens and check their nutritional status and egg production. We verified also that compliance with the meal plan has been recommended.

As a product of the new meal plan in March there was a daily average of 6 eggs per hen and there was also chicken and mature hens for meat more often than last year.

22nd of March:
We performed the first vaccination campaign for adult birds (over 18 weeks) that were near the beginning of producing eggs, and for chickens and small cocks aged from 4 to 17 weeks. That day a total of 125 birds were vaccinated.

23rd of March:
The second day of poultry vaccination was conducted on this date and a total of 170 were vaccinated since a vaccination of fowl in the neighborhood was implemented as a precaution to prevent outbreaks of diseases caused by viruses. On both days we had the support of the local team led by Don Armando Sandoval.

The photograph shows the visit to one of the families
that have begun to experience the production of organic
fertiliser. Although it will not be sufficient for their plot,
it will begin to improve the fertility of this year. 

Brother Noah (2nd from left) shows the state of
decomposition of his compost to Agronomist Otoniel.

Brother Toño (right) already produced compost last year,
but this year he is producing double the fertiliser
to apply to all of his land, on which
he grows corn, beans, rice, cassava and some vegetables. 

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Be the Change

I have been talking about starting an oh so cozy bookstore / fundraising venue / community connection center / cafe supporting local food and local artists for....oh ten years now? A place where you leave feeling like you've had an experience with the human heart. A place that can act as a catalyst for a whole community of people.

I've written out multiple "business plans" and carved out my creative ideas through photos and storyboards. I've volunteered with many organizations who would be perfect candidates for the "volunteer connection" aspect of my idea and I've seen a lot of international and local projects first-hand. I've shared my ideas at times with multiple people who can see it like I can. I've even fallen in love with various venues that would be perfect for what I'm thinking. And everywhere I've traveled, I've sought out the places that are doing somewhat similar things as I would love the chance to do.

Now? I want to make something happen with it. I feel like I'm living in an area where it could potentially work. Yet, I'm a bit aimless (and so effing busy) to know where to actually....start.

Today I got accepted to the Be the Change program in Costa Rica in August. It's put on by Global Volunteer Network - whom I traveled to both Africa and India with. It's a week long seminar put on by professionals who will help you cover all the aspects of starting up your own social entrepreneurship project / business or charity.

Watch the video here. It's truly inspiring >> 

I am SO excited. I know it would be what I need to meet like minded individuals and get motivated to really start working on my connection center idea. Only problem? It's $2500, it's in Costa Rica in August (when I'm travelling all over the country for weddings and work, oh my) and it would mean really being present to come away with a focused plan. 

Part of me knows it's meant for me. The other part is saying, "But weren't you finally going to settle down for a bit?" I feel lately like I live in the airport, or at client events or tradeshows. And I've been a rotten friend to some people because I'm always on the go. Isn't it more important to concentrate on those issues first?

If I don't end up going this year, I will be okay. But the one thing I know for sure?

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December in the Food Security Project

December was an exciting month for the project...there was growth in the areas of non-traditional methods of farming, as well as legitimate benefits of organic fertilizers showing their colours.

From the report of our Agronomist:

On December 4th, as part of the Otra Fe team's interest in searching out non traditional activities or options in the area of production and sale of foods, we went to visit a tilapia breeding project on the outskirts of the village of San Pablo Tacachinco, about 35 kms south west of the city of Santa Ana. There we had the opportunity to learn in great detail all the different aspects of raising and comercializing tilapia. Our purpose is to broach this idea in communities that have a sufficient water resource the possibility of developing in the medium term a project that would give them the opportunity to better their quality of life. This was also a good opportunity for training for the team.

On December 12-19 y 26 meetings were held in Monte El Padre and Hacienda El Milagro in Texistepeque, as well as in Hacienda San Diego (near Metapan) with the goal of explaining in detail the benefits obtained in the soil by using organic fertilizers consistently. In 2013 it is proposed to put this to the test in a more extensive program. (I love this update because it's the first for sure we've seen about using organic fertilizers.)

Check out the photos & project report here (warning: it is a versión de español)

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Updates on Food Security Project in El Salvador

Here are some highlights from the October and November updates from the fields of El Salvador. Our Agronomist, Otoniel, is the one sending updates and we thank him sincerely. Muchas gracias mi amigo!

(I'm still working on my Spanish as I found a class in Kelowna to take...and I hope to visit the fields again this summer - money and time provided.)

October 4: The project “Otra Fe” in the community Monte El Padre is causing interest among other groups of farmers, which is why we met on October 4 (Juan Ramón and Otoniel) with twenty-five farmers who cultivate small plots on the farm "El Milagro"in the jurisdiction of Texistepeque to share the vision of short, medium and long term goals that the project has in the technical area and in the area of farm values for family and community.

October 20: Accompanied by eight farmers from the community Monte El Padre we conducted a technical inspection of second planting crops. We walked seven and a half kilometres to visit twelve plots cultivated with millet, squash and pipián squash which, thanks to the dedication of the farmers are developing well, with the assurance of receiving the expected harvest at the end of 2012.

October 30: (This is my FAVOURITE kind of update to get!!!)
With the presence of Pastor Juan Ramon and attended by 25 people, men and women, meeting of subsistence farmers was held (in San Diego) to talk about "community organization" to fight for the improvement of community health, education and food production. At the end of the meeting, the group chose a local board to represent them in present and future actions taken by the community.

On November 30 Ramon Ramirez met with the group of farmers to have a motivational talk in relation to building harmonious community relationships and the local work of mutual aid and solidarity as basic practice in community development.

Also on November 30th, the group met to give thanks for the blessing obtained through the harvest. Pastor Felix Lino pondered with the male and female farmers about the product obtained from the earth and responsibility to work the land and care for it.

Religious or not, it's important to give thanks to the Universe / God / Buddha / Nature / Krishna or whomever you care too for the food that the Earth provides for us. What a special responsibility we've been given.

Gregorio Escalante shows off his bean plants.
He has had a good harvest & there will be food for the family!

A group of farmers visiting Don Beto's plot of mustard
seedings - a new crop for him.

The hard work of bean harvest.

Read the October report in full >>

Read the November report in full >>

To visit the Otra Fe website and to see all the reports, click here >>

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