The defining moment in my life that shifted the way I was thinking...and brought me to ubuntu.
Great question. Tough to answer.
In the sense of living and breathing and working and playing.
Be here now
No other place to be
All the doubts that linger
Just set them free
And let good things happen
And let the future come
Into each moment
Like a rising sun
- Mason Jennings
It has been awhile since I've written. But I've been journaling and living and laughing and loving and it's been difficult to get all of my emotions down into a concise blog post. So excuse me if I jump around here.
I wanted to blog today because one of my hopes for 2014 is to write and write and write. I find out new things about myself every time I write.
Let's start with saying that I had one of the best New Years Eve of my life last night. It started with probably the best Christmas I can remember in years. All of my siblings together, my three nephews who feel like my babies, and my parents in one house = loud noisy chaos and love. As the baby, everyone seems to tease me about a lot in my life. For example, like my not wanting to kill crickets in the basement, but instead release them outside (Gandhi said we're judged by how we treat the tiniest creature; my brothers tell me that it dies once it hits the freezing outdoors anyways...who is to say which is more cruel???) Once my brothers departed for home, my sister and I spent a few days productively working. We spent evenings working on upcoming projects, talking and talking, working out, pushing each other, cuddling my nephews and then really getting into what we wanted to do for this next year. The new chapter in front of us spread out like a blank canvas. So last night I got to have dinner with my parents, my sister and my bro-in-laws friends. We created "vision boards" for 2014, drank champagne and went to bed. Perfect. My vision board is below.
There are many goals I have for the New Year and I tried to include them, to keep me accountable. Among them there is "start a business", "start my own non-profit", "enrol in Nutrition school", "join a djembe drum circle", "grow community around me", "grow love gardens", "hike, bike, swim, do yoga, meditate or sweat everyday", "volunteer more", and "travel and explore BC".
That seems like a lot. But I feel like we have to be OUTRAGEOUS in goal setting, because if they don't scare you, your dreams aren't big enough.
I also decided that there are two overarching themes for my New Year. One is to do all things with love, kindness and grace - to remain open. I remind myself of that daily.
Another, and my favourite mantra that's even posted above my bed, is to be here now. In every moment.
Let me explain why that is so important to me.
I recently moved into a new area of Kelowna called the Lower Mission. It's adorable. I live in a four bedroom house that is a short walk away from cafes and shops and beaches. I am living with a new "brother and sister" that I love to pieces and I'm back into making a house a home. It's been awhile since I've had a place to call my own and I have to say that I'm enjoying the home-making. There's space for my garden in the coming months, room for our yoga mats downstairs and a small, cozy office space. I have a friend who lives a bike ride away that I will garden with this year. I have another friend who works in the area and we can meet for weekly lunches. I bought a bike and enjoy not having to start my car for days at a time. I really feel like I have created a community of support and love in Kelowna whom I consider a family of sorts.
But then, my life in the winter is odd. I spend much of it on the road with Ag tradeshows. I am going to go from Swift to Saskatoon to Kelowna to Brandon to Kelowna to Edmonton to Kelowna in the next three weeks. I have four trips planned to Winnipeg in the next few months. So on one side, this is the most amazing thing - it means I can see my old friends and my actual family. It also gives me time to spend with my work family (and I love them a lot; they feel like family too). This is gold. But it also leaves me feeling disconnected from both my new and old life. It leaves me somewhere in between.
Last year during this season I was hectic thinking where do I belong? Should I move back? But I love the life I'm building there. Where would I even move back to? And on and on and on...
Somehow on this trip it all shifted. I realized that in fact I'm luckier than being left in the middle. I might just be the luckiest person ever. I have an abundance of people in my life that I love and that love me and whether that means I'm here or there or anywhere, I get to be around these magical people in my life. If only I could stop worrying and start truly being present in those moments. Gah. Game changer. I feel so much peace being where I am right now (which is currently parked on the recliner at my parents watching the Rose Bowl. This weekend it might be back at my sisters, next weekend my brothers in Saskatoon and then this hotel - that airport - this friends house, etc.).
The most important thing from now on is to BE. HERE. NOW. Meaning that anywhere I am, I want to be fully there in that moment. I have to be present with each individual soul that I am lucky enough to be around. And that's my main goal for the year.
Be. Here. Now. Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
Happy New Years incredible people in my life. I am so looking forward to spending time with each of you in 2014.
No other place to be
All the doubts that linger
Just set them free
And let good things happen
And let the future come
Into each moment
Like a rising sun
- Mason Jennings
It has been awhile since I've written. But I've been journaling and living and laughing and loving and it's been difficult to get all of my emotions down into a concise blog post. So excuse me if I jump around here.
I wanted to blog today because one of my hopes for 2014 is to write and write and write. I find out new things about myself every time I write.
Let's start with saying that I had one of the best New Years Eve of my life last night. It started with probably the best Christmas I can remember in years. All of my siblings together, my three nephews who feel like my babies, and my parents in one house = loud noisy chaos and love. As the baby, everyone seems to tease me about a lot in my life. For example, like my not wanting to kill crickets in the basement, but instead release them outside (Gandhi said we're judged by how we treat the tiniest creature; my brothers tell me that it dies once it hits the freezing outdoors anyways...who is to say which is more cruel???) Once my brothers departed for home, my sister and I spent a few days productively working. We spent evenings working on upcoming projects, talking and talking, working out, pushing each other, cuddling my nephews and then really getting into what we wanted to do for this next year. The new chapter in front of us spread out like a blank canvas. So last night I got to have dinner with my parents, my sister and my bro-in-laws friends. We created "vision boards" for 2014, drank champagne and went to bed. Perfect. My vision board is below.
There are many goals I have for the New Year and I tried to include them, to keep me accountable. Among them there is "start a business", "start my own non-profit", "enrol in Nutrition school", "join a djembe drum circle", "grow community around me", "grow love gardens", "hike, bike, swim, do yoga, meditate or sweat everyday", "volunteer more", and "travel and explore BC".
That seems like a lot. But I feel like we have to be OUTRAGEOUS in goal setting, because if they don't scare you, your dreams aren't big enough.
I also decided that there are two overarching themes for my New Year. One is to do all things with love, kindness and grace - to remain open. I remind myself of that daily.
Another, and my favourite mantra that's even posted above my bed, is to be here now. In every moment.
Let me explain why that is so important to me.
I recently moved into a new area of Kelowna called the Lower Mission. It's adorable. I live in a four bedroom house that is a short walk away from cafes and shops and beaches. I am living with a new "brother and sister" that I love to pieces and I'm back into making a house a home. It's been awhile since I've had a place to call my own and I have to say that I'm enjoying the home-making. There's space for my garden in the coming months, room for our yoga mats downstairs and a small, cozy office space. I have a friend who lives a bike ride away that I will garden with this year. I have another friend who works in the area and we can meet for weekly lunches. I bought a bike and enjoy not having to start my car for days at a time. I really feel like I have created a community of support and love in Kelowna whom I consider a family of sorts.
But then, my life in the winter is odd. I spend much of it on the road with Ag tradeshows. I am going to go from Swift to Saskatoon to Kelowna to Brandon to Kelowna to Edmonton to Kelowna in the next three weeks. I have four trips planned to Winnipeg in the next few months. So on one side, this is the most amazing thing - it means I can see my old friends and my actual family. It also gives me time to spend with my work family (and I love them a lot; they feel like family too). This is gold. But it also leaves me feeling disconnected from both my new and old life. It leaves me somewhere in between.
Last year during this season I was hectic thinking where do I belong? Should I move back? But I love the life I'm building there. Where would I even move back to? And on and on and on...
Somehow on this trip it all shifted. I realized that in fact I'm luckier than being left in the middle. I might just be the luckiest person ever. I have an abundance of people in my life that I love and that love me and whether that means I'm here or there or anywhere, I get to be around these magical people in my life. If only I could stop worrying and start truly being present in those moments. Gah. Game changer. I feel so much peace being where I am right now (which is currently parked on the recliner at my parents watching the Rose Bowl. This weekend it might be back at my sisters, next weekend my brothers in Saskatoon and then this hotel - that airport - this friends house, etc.).
The most important thing from now on is to BE. HERE. NOW. Meaning that anywhere I am, I want to be fully there in that moment. I have to be present with each individual soul that I am lucky enough to be around. And that's my main goal for the year.
Be. Here. Now. Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
Happy New Years incredible people in my life. I am so looking forward to spending time with each of you in 2014.
It's interesting, it took me 4 years or so before Kelowna felt like "home" to me. Sure I owned a house here, but I didn't really have that feeling of "ahhh, this is where it all comes back to." I don't know the exact moment (or even month) when the 'home' feeling happened but, it was around the time I really got involved in the tech community. I finally had roots beyond just a physical house and casual friends to come back to.
ReplyDeleteI probably won't be here forever, but for now it's very much home.
On the topic of "do all things with love, kindness and grace", you might find this helpful
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/411938697137841499/
Thanks for sharing!