The defining moment in my life that shifted the way I was thinking...and brought me to ubuntu.
Great question. Tough to answer.
In the sense of living and breathing and working and playing.
I ask that question only for the reason that I don't understand my sheer luck, not because I am mad, sad or unhappy in Canada. It's the opposite - I'm SO happy and SO lucky to have been a female born there. Canada (as I've been reminded by everyone here since returning home) is definitely one of the best places in the WORLD to live.
Troubles Indian women face? They are lucky to make it through birth in rich areas, as sex-selective abortion is prominent. In poorer areas where they cannot afford to discover the sex prior to the birth, newborn babies are poisoned. Every family wants a male for specific reasons:
Troubles Indian women face? They are lucky to make it through birth in rich areas, as sex-selective abortion is prominent. In poorer areas where they cannot afford to discover the sex prior to the birth, newborn babies are poisoned. Every family wants a male for specific reasons:
- They stay in the family and aren't given away to another family.
- They can continue on the family name / run the family business (girls cannot do this?)
- They are the recipients of a dowry, rather than having to pay a steep price as the bride's father does
Women, on the other hand, usually aren't paid for to go to school. They must work while the male is educated. They are married off at an early age in poor families and become the other's family, no longer living with their own. There is usually a large dowry to pay for them to enter another family and sometimes there are what is popularly known as 'bride burnings.' When the new family wants an even larger dowry or simply don`t want to the bride in their family, the husband, sister or mother-in-laws may pour gasoline on the new wife and light her on fire.
Everywhere you go in India, you see men sitting on the side of the road and in small shops, drinking tea and chatting. But you rarely see women sitting and not working. You see them carrying large loads on their heads, working in the fields and cooking over the hot fire....or cleaning, taking care of the children or sewing. They are always working -- hard work, more than what we`re used too.
If you are at all interested in the issue of women in India, one must-read is May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons: A Journey Among the Women of India written by Elisabeth Bumiller. It discusses a variety of challenges facing women in India, including a bride burning case; a rare death by sati, in which a young widow joined her husband on the funeral pyre; poor villages where girl babies are so unwelcome that some don't survive and cities where boy babies are given the edge by prenatal tests and the availability of abortion. There are some generalizations in the story, but overall it`s a must read and one that unfortunately points out issues that haven`t progressed too much since it was written back in the `80`s.
During my time in India, I became so used to hearing the women I knew talk about their own arranged marriages that it became normal to me. It was just a fact of life that two people would enter into a marriage like a business contract and that love would come later, if ever. It began to make some sense that two families would choose and, in the good cases, support the marriage to get to the point of love if all other elements of a marriage were present: responsibility, accountability, good health, trust and honesty.
I knew some women that were dating now, in their late teens and early 20`s, but knew the inevitable would one day come and their families would choose their groom. They were close enough to their parents that they felt they would consider their feelings in the choice and it actually seemed...easier. There was no headaches or analyzing and questioning their love for someone. It was just the next step in life.
After kissing a lot of frogs, do I wish that my parents could just do the work for me and find a suitable mate?
Umm...no...that idea has me rolling on the floor laughing. But there, it made sense.
Thanking my lucky stars for being a native Canadian and trying to make my life meaningful enough so as to not forget my luck...
Pyaar.
Everywhere you go in India, you see men sitting on the side of the road and in small shops, drinking tea and chatting. But you rarely see women sitting and not working. You see them carrying large loads on their heads, working in the fields and cooking over the hot fire....or cleaning, taking care of the children or sewing. They are always working -- hard work, more than what we`re used too.
If you are at all interested in the issue of women in India, one must-read is May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons: A Journey Among the Women of India written by Elisabeth Bumiller. It discusses a variety of challenges facing women in India, including a bride burning case; a rare death by sati, in which a young widow joined her husband on the funeral pyre; poor villages where girl babies are so unwelcome that some don't survive and cities where boy babies are given the edge by prenatal tests and the availability of abortion. There are some generalizations in the story, but overall it`s a must read and one that unfortunately points out issues that haven`t progressed too much since it was written back in the `80`s.
During my time in India, I became so used to hearing the women I knew talk about their own arranged marriages that it became normal to me. It was just a fact of life that two people would enter into a marriage like a business contract and that love would come later, if ever. It began to make some sense that two families would choose and, in the good cases, support the marriage to get to the point of love if all other elements of a marriage were present: responsibility, accountability, good health, trust and honesty.
I knew some women that were dating now, in their late teens and early 20`s, but knew the inevitable would one day come and their families would choose their groom. They were close enough to their parents that they felt they would consider their feelings in the choice and it actually seemed...easier. There was no headaches or analyzing and questioning their love for someone. It was just the next step in life.
After kissing a lot of frogs, do I wish that my parents could just do the work for me and find a suitable mate?
Umm...no...that idea has me rolling on the floor laughing. But there, it made sense.
Thanking my lucky stars for being a native Canadian and trying to make my life meaningful enough so as to not forget my luck...
Pyaar.
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