"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

My last day at the camp and finished work. I realized this morning that I have much reflection to come from my time spent here, but I know this for sure - I definitely made a difference in one life by coming here: my own.

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." - Marian Wright Edelman

The past four weeks have been ... words can't explain. At this point, pictures can't explain. I have been scared, anxious, joyous, incredibly sad, heartbroken, comforted, challenged and so incredibly happy I feel my heart has blown up in my chest.

I have really jumbled up in my head what I feel is the right path for me to take following this experience. I'm incredibly interested in women's development and still thinking about social entrepreneurship. I get to choose a city (any city) in Canada to live in when I get home. And I've finally taken my heart back without anger, only forgiveness. I feel brand new and a lot older at the same time.

Let's get this straight. I am not, and have never been, a hardcore feminist. I don't think women are better than men, nor do I want to beat out men in jobs or politics if they can do a better job. I think men play an extremely vital part in our society and sometimes it's just nicer that they are good at driving and fixing things or that they feel the need to buy us flowers! I have so many wonderful men in my life - fathers, uncles, brothers, best friends - who I could not exist without. My grandfathers faces and my fathers words of encouragement are constantly in my head when I make choices in my life.

However, I've learned more about my own womanhood through seeing others struggle to emerge as a woman in this Indian society. They rarely communicate lovingly with their husbands and giggle when discussing simple womanly topics such as their bodies (which makes me grateful for our ability to choose to marry for love and to embrace our sexuality in Canada). Yet they care for their children and watch out for each other. They daringly decide to go to this small school and educate themselves (some even in their 40's) to attain self-dependency. They celebrate their success. They make me so proud to be a woman. Over the weeks, as I uttered words of encouragement to the girls about our incredible bodies, our masterful minds and our beauty, I realized that being a woman is a precious gift, and one that they don't get to enjoy as often here. Sex-selective abortion is still prevalent in certain areas. Dowry prices are high, a woman is often seen as unable to take over a family business here, and other reasons make having a female an unwanted thing. I think about the people I know back home that just want to have a girl and find it unreal that it's so backwards.

The one thing I noticed among all Indian women, women at home and even new friends that I've made here in the camp is this: being a woman is about love and nurturing. I may not have the romantic 'love' in my life right now, but I'm surrounded by all kinds of massive love and great relationships, affection shown by others towards me, towards their loved ones, and towards themselves. I'm surrounded at home by strong, powerful, beautiful women and educated, sensitive and kind men. I've nurtured (or tried too) what I have in my life and will continue too with new and old friendships ongoing through my life. A simple moment like Elena coming into my room last night and letting me know she had a Green Apple drink for me here (which I love and can rarely find here in Jaipur!) shows me L.O.V.E.

I am woman. And I'm so thankful for the lessons I've learned from challenging myself to do this step in life.

My cake for the adolescent girls class.
Continue your studies. You are the future of India!

I left each girl with a school notebook & handwritten letter.
"Dream about what you'd like to become and then find
ways to start taking small steps in that direction."
I should listen to my own advice.

Nehru Gardens. To the left we had a massive audience of
onlookers while having our cozy picnic.

Beautiful flowers the girls picked for me.

My little hearts.